A lot has been said about your partner meeting your needs in the relationship, how to chose the “right” partner, how to make sure he or she suits all your demands. But what about making the relationship lasting, how you can be sure that your partner would be the same tomorrow as he or she is today. Everyone changes, especially under the influence of another person, and with time relationship routine might look completely different to the one it was in the beginning. The idea though is, to make a change to the better rather than worse. Sadly, a common perception of marriage is that with time romance fades away and relationship becomes boring and tasteless. The truth is – it will happen… only if you let it to.
But if you shift your focus from expecting your partner to make you happy to making your partner happy, you can create a positive change in your relationship without any talks or therapies. You shouldn’t question whether your partner would be the same forever. Instead, make it your mission to make your partner’s life better today and then… repeat it every day. And you will see how it can change his or her behaviour. By giving your best to your partner, you create the will in him or her to give the best in return.
The questions you should be asking yourself are:
- Am I leaving in agreement with my core values and beliefs? If loving relationship is important to me, am I focusing on it enough?
- What am I experiencing in my relationship and if anything is missing?
- How good am I as a partner? Meaning: do I give everything I can in this relationship, or do I expect more from my partner then I can provide myself?
- How can I be better for her or for him? Could I be more caring and attentive in order to make my partner happy?
- Is there anything else I could do for her or for him that I am not doing yet?
By asking yourself these questions every day, you can improve your relationship one step at the time and make a steady progress over time.