Often we become so overwhelmed by the flying tempo of life that we forget how caring and attentive we should be towards partners. Often it is hard to stay on top of your own life let alone following what’s going on in our spouse’s life. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you forgot your partner had an important day at work, or was going on a business trip in couple of days. We are humans with our own moods and feelings, and it is not easy to keep up with everything, while still staying a loving and mindful partner.
So, what’s the difference between happy couples and the rest of them. Why some people stay seemingly happy and engaged which each other while other being dragged further and further apart.
It is very simple. Happy couples don’t differentiate between your life and mine, they focus on WE instead of I. What it means is you have to stay involved in your partner’s life in a very delicate and positive manner, being supportive, ready to either share a disappointment or delight in their life. When times get tough you should be there to offer a shoulder to cry on, when anything great happens you should be there to celebrate together no matter how insignificant this might seem at first sight. Sounds very simple, right? Yet, many couples seem to live a separate life after a few years into marriage/ partnership, ignoring that every little detail matters. Because it creates an invisible, but very strong connection between the partners, which provides a feeling of safety and stability in their relationship.
If you feel your two are on edge of losing this connection, here are a few tips as a reminder of your significance to each other:
- Make sure you know what is going on in your partner’s life, what stresses he or she has to deal with, be up to date with their events at either work or private life like hobby or social activity of theirs. It is easier than you think, for example, you can keep reminders in your phone’s calendar! Or, if you are at that stage already – create a shared calendar for you two where you can see what’s upcoming in each other’s lives.
- Remember all significant people in their life (not talking about family, those you should remember by default :) ) – close friends, colleagues they cannot stop talking about or an annoying boss. It would be nice if every time your partner mentions someone in a conversation, he or she doesn’t have to explain you, who that is.
- If you don’t know yet – get to know what’s your partner’s favourite meal or restaurant, favourite movie, hobby or preferred time spending, favourite flowers (for her) and so on. So next time when you want to make anything special for them, you have plenty of options to choose from!
- Keep the happiness journal or positive emotions account. Remember what makes him or her happy. And whenever needed – add a point to this account. It is not a competition, but to make a happy couple you both should first – know how to give and only then – accept something in return.
- Be aware of one another’s aspirations and dreams. I already highlighted the important of being together on a journey to your biggest achievements (Never Give up your dreams). You need to know who your partner wants to become, and reassure them you’d love them even more when this happens.
Stay connected and be a truly happy couple!