If two people are in love, they usually demonstrate a natural interest in each other’s daily life. This is partially why we fall in love at first place, as our partner’s life-style looks intriguing in the beginning and makes us willing to know more. Genuine curiosity grasps our attention and drives our need for exploring our object of admiration. We absorb any information at this stage of connection with the other person and wish they never stopped sharing. It lasts through the early phase of the relationship until we face a problem, become too overwhelmed by our own world and allocate less and less time to participate in our partner’s life. In modern world, when it is so easy to be up to date with your spouse’s daily routines, we tend to disconnect from one another even more, all initial excitement fades away and we end up living separate lives under the same roof. Unfortunately, it happens to many couples, while they are not necessarily aware of this.
It is only at times when we most need their support and empathy, we start noticing that our spouses are not there for us. This comes out in many daily situations, when she needs a hand with shopping or he wants to prepare to the important meeting. Whatever it might be, sadly we tend to miss the little things until they grow into a major conflict. However, think about how easily it could be avoided if we were to act like in the beginning of relationship, when we loved being involved in each other’s lives, when we enjoyed talking about our dreams and aspirations for hours… This is what’s missing. We need to be more engaged with each other, be more proactive in recognizing our partner’s needs, make our friendship a first priority and the rest will build up. As being a reliable partner doesn’t mean to earn more money or accompany each other for family holidays, but to be there in daily routines, sharing usual duties, taking care of each other, resolve problems together and support one another in every area of life. It doesn’t mean being obsessive and intrusive, but to be concerned and responsive.
All of this is easy to do and doesn’t require any special technics, because it is natural to all couples. Some just forget about these little gestures’ importance and let boring routine take over their lives. We all need a reminder from time to time of no matter how small things seem to be, they might mean a lot more to the other person. If she believes he has to help her with the shopping list, he needs to consider including this in his schedule. Likewise, if he wants to attend an auto-exhibition, she might accompany him and learn something about his interest.
Quick catch up call during the day is an expression of care and interest in your partner’s life. If he has a stressful day, a short text message of love and support would make a big difference. If she loves reading, a new book would be a nice demonstration of his love and respect to her hobby. The things that make us happy are really simple, quick good-bye kiss, wishing a nice day at work, cooking her favourite meal or talking through the whole evening with a glass of wine… the list is inexhaustible, and even though it varies from couple to couple, is important to keep in mind!
We should make effort to know each other better, as we have changed since we got together and therefore need an update from time to time to be up to date with each other’s dreams and desires to be able to support each other in achieving those. It will make your communication easier and relationship – stronger.