Today I want to talk about a seemingly lifelong topic, where we have no chance of ever reaching a consensus. It is a conflict of male vs female interests (hobbies and habits). It has been around far too long for one to believe in other half’s abilities to do anything outside of their comfort zone. We strongly believe that women don’t like football (at least not to the same extent), and men almost hate ballet (or any theatrical performance all together). Why so often we allow this common misconception to interfere our happy being in harmony with our life partners. We base our further assumptions on it and accept that our spouse would not share our passion and therefore try to build our own life on the side making it an island of being our true self with no disruption allowed.
But that’s not the right.
Where does the idea of our habits and interests being radically opposite come from? I suppose, it has a bit of a historical context. Historically, men were supposed to be strong and brave, therefore they still think only they can drive the race cars or skydive! Well, I guess, already enough women proved them wrong! Women, on another side, got used to taking care of the household themselves, assuming male spouse would not be as good at it any way. Yet so many guys are actually willing to be involved and share those responsibilities. All they need is simply a little trust, positive attitude and support.
Don’t let these habits to root in your relationships. Stay open to each other’s ideas and don’t be reluctant in trying something new. It doesn’t hurt. You can always step back if you don’t like it and explain your partner how you feel about it. But if you argue prior to even considering any suggestion of your other half, they would close their inner world from you, turn away and never show their true character again.
Last week I tried to drag my husband to meditation session! If you heard his monologue of his prior to entering there… “What am I doing here? I don’t need this, I am in harmony with myself and don’t need meditation, this is probably some hook for the desperate people” and on and on and on. Two hours later, when we left, what I heard was “Why is that we’ve never done this before? You never told me it was so good (aha, I never did), I think we should do it more often”. Obviously :)
So, give it a try, whatever it is your partner is passionate about. Find something you both feel excited about doing together. Maybe it is something you’ve always dreamed of and never dared to share with you spouse. Now is the right time.
Here are some ideas of what to do if going to a restaurant sounds too familiar and boring option:
· Going to a sushi cooking workshop. Useful and entertaining time spending. In addition, quite yummy as you are allowed to eat everything you made, in the end.
· Horse riding (though it is definitely not for me. And I have tried it before making a conclusion! So, no judgement, but I am afraid of trying to control another creature which has brain of its own and would do whatever she thinks is right, first and after that possibly consider my safety)
· Scottish dancing. We’ve been a few times already and always come back with pleasure, as it is a lot of fun and positive energy
· An exhibition in the Institute of sexology. Sounds intriguing!
· Explore. Take a train somewhere you both have never been before, just agree on jumping on the first train appearing on the platform, and getting off at the third stop. Take a picnic hamper with you and enjoy yourselves wherever you end up being. Or take a bus. In London it is even more fun, taking the front seats on the first floor in the red bus and have a sightseeing tour to further areas of the city. There is always something new to explore here. I love it.
· Learn a language together. Like my in-laws took Italian classes recently. Then you can travel to this country and practice together. In case of Italy, in addition you can taste plenty of amazing food and wine!
Sharing an experience together would draw you closer to each other and disclose yet unknown sides of your nature.